I deserve Love

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh


Several years ago, I was in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. It didn’t start out that way, of course. During the first year that we were together, I was in heaven. I was blissfully happy and everything seemed perfect.

My partner and I were so in love and happy just to be together; you couldn’t keep us apart.

It was an year later that the trouble started. It was when my partner reconnected with a girl from his past that our relationship started to fall apart. It is hard to say if things would have fallen apart in time anyway, but this other girl certainly contributed to bringing us unstuck.

My partner told me that they had never been a couple, but that he used to be attracted to this girl and now they are just friends.  I thought nothing of it at first because I thought I could trust my partner completely.

Eventually though, I noticed that he was spending more time with her, and when I would ask him about it, he always made it seem like I was a bad person for being suspicious.

I started reading messages on his phone because my gut instinct was telling me that something was not right.When I confronted him with the incriminating messages, he got very angry. He denied everything and berated me for having so little faith in him. All of this made me quite depressed, and eventually I became very bitter. We were fighting almost constantly over the smallest things.

I was bitter with the world and, yes, I became bitter with myself. I did not like the person I had become.

I was always stressed out, suspicious, and unhappy. I blamed myself for the status of our relationship. I started believing that I was the one at fault and that he was the injured party.

After some time, his affair with the woman finally came to light and we broke up. Even after having confirmed that all my suspicions were correct and that I had done myself a favor by ending the relationship, I was still extremely unhappy. I still carried a lot of bitterness inside me.

I could not understand why something so bad could happen to a good person like me. I was angry with my ex and was equally angry at the world.

The recurring question I had in my head was, “What is love, and what on earth did I do to deserve this?”

With the passing phase of time 

I realized that I was ultimately responsible for all the unhappiness and bitterness I was feeling.

I needed to forgive myself for having stayed in an unhealthy relationship for far too long. I needed to free myself of unrealistic expectations and get on with my life and all that it had to offer.

As soon as I started doing this, things immediately began to change. 

I discovered things about myself that I didn’t even know existed and I realized that there was a lot to love about myself and about life in general. I focused on always fighting for the positive view no matter what the situation was.

If it weren’t the relationship, then my insecurities, pain, and upset would have come out in another life drama.

When I understood where my insecurities of worry were anchored, I could then deal with everyday emotions of negativity by seeing them for what they were.

I could see that it wasn’t my circumstances that made me feel unhappy, negative, and resentful. They just took me to a fearful place in myself. What I needed to do was learn how to deal with those situations in a healthy way.

I’ve learned that stamping your feet and flailing your arms at the unfairness doesn’t solve anything; slopping around in life’s negative emotions hurts nobody but yourself.

I was actually free enough to love too. I had more to give, as I wasn’t so preoccupied with trying to be loved. It turned out to be the kind of love that leads to a long, happy, healthy relationship.

This positive love that now fills my heart and my world is available to every single one of us.

 if you can deeply connect with the real you, who wants, needs, and above all deserves to be loved, a freedom lies ahead that is beautiful to behold.

wAnNa gO bAcK hOmE

Life left me dazed and blank..so many things happening around me, turning my world upside down..feels like I’ve gone right back to the starting line of the race and am now not being able to start running again..Feel way behind..i’ve gained so much yet feel like I’ve lost a huge part of myself in this whole game..People come and people go but they dont realize the impact that they leave ..Their footprints last forever..I still d’nt know why i just cnt stay away from people when i know things dnt last forever and they will all leave me one day and I’ll be alone..i’m tired of this and wanna go home...:-(wanna sleep on my bed..play with my toys..watch tv for like hours..get bored..see mom and dad & every nite sleep in mom’s lap….

Perfect Guys don't exists...

He's not perfect, you arnt either. The two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh atleast onceAnd if he admits to being human & making mistakes then hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isnt going to quote poetry. He's not thinking bout you every moment. But he'll give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, don't expect more than he can give, don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not around.
Love hard when there is love to be had. Because Perfect Guys don't exist. But there is always one guy that is perfect for you <3 <3

Emotional Dependency

“Build. Create. Live well, laugh often, love much. It needn’t be a fight all the time.”


Whenever you hear the word “dependency,” most of us think in terms of some form of addiction or disease. It tends to imply something that should be avoided, fixed, or terminated. Most individuals with dependencies are those with addictive personalities, and thus rely on others to meet their needs and fulfill their responsibilities. Not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with, or aspire to become.
Relationships are place to create the life you want. Ask yourself what it is you want from life, from your relationship? 
Ratio for healthy relationship is 5:1- five positive and good things done for every one negative thing
"Sometimes love blinds us, other times it let’s us see."
The more we feel in control, the happier we will be. Not in the sense of being in control of situations or other people, but rather in control of ourself.
We come close to someone not with an idea to become emotionally weak or to weaken the other person but to strengthen the bond which we wish to share with them because together we can face any challenge, any obstacle placed in front of us by life....


So sometimes its good to be emotionally dependent on someone you trust who understand you and stand by you silently in ur good and bad days 

New Year Resolution

New Year resolutions

So here comes the most awaited day for the people to celebrate. I truly don't find anything special about this day except roaming around and partying alongside friends which for me, is like spending every weekend. The truth is that from this day onward, nothing gonna change, If life sucked last year, its pretty much going to be the same case unless you take a stand on your own. The day is never gonna have any effect.
By the way, I feel deviated from the title of this post, people take resolution and I have few suggestions:
1. Be observant.
2. Never let any idea go uncaptured.
3. Try to learn something from the people you meet.
4. Take a book or magazine wherever you go.
5. Spend as much time as you can with your loved ones.
6. Meditate
7. Take time to reflect on your day. What have you done right? What have you done wrong? What can you do to improve yourself?

Atleast at first I plan to work on this. Today is Jan 4, and I am fed up with all of this.

Now, I say screw them, just have fun, be passionate about life and just be awesome always…true story ;)!!